i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
