dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
