I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
