I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
There are leaves in my underwear?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
