I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
