Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
