At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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