I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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