I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
