i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
