ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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