Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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