alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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