I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
