i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
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