He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
