I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Randomize
