we're blogging at a bar
We're facebook friends in real life
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
meet me or not, i'm out of control
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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