i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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