I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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