Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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