Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize