The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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