I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize