her vagine was all disorganized.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
