So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
