Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
