I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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