Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
