I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
