And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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