Define "chronic" masturbator.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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