Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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