That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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