Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize