Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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