yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
