He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
