Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
