The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize