Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize