Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
