I'm drive I can fine osifer
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
