he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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