I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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