Little spoons don't ask big questions
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
My penis needs a shock collar
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
