I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
