Cold hands, warm shart.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
