the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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