i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I think my nap took me to another dimension
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
