I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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