you guys were way drunker than both of me
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
