oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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