I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
