I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
