Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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