we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
