Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize