End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
