I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
