Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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