This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
