she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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