i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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