I want to stick my p in your. b.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
