Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
