Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
