This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Just pee around me
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I'm always down for nudity.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
