Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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