Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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