His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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