The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
