i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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