we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Found the puke drawer
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
