How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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