btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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