everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
