you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just had sex bonerless
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
