There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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