I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
