Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
