Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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