everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize