I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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