This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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