its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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