from now on my penis is your penis
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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