We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Randomize
